Stephen King is far too sensitive.
I never noticed how many guys there are out there who look like Stephen King. Another guy today. This time the paper-delivery man at the office. Granted he was a little bit shorter than your average author, almost elfish if you stared at him too long. But anyway...
So he comes into the office and I see him in the corner of my eye dropping the boxes and to the photocopier. And like deja vu, my mind flickers with a thought: “Is that Stephen King.” And then I remembered yesterdays bus driver and broke out laughing. Like a real LOL but coming from my mouth and not the keyboard.
My boss, who's standing by with the reciept and clipboard, checking to make sure its all there (like the picky bastard that he is) and the paper guy turn to me. Boris, my boss, asks me what's so funny. And I ask the paper guy, “Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Stephen King?”
He just grunts like, “huh?” He turns to Boris and—this is where it gets great—talks to him in Russian. Boris says something back like, “Dhzdjjosh joshz joshz Stephen King jagkjhfsdgkhsd.” (This is what Russian sounds like to me.) And the guy shakes his head at me, but not like “No, I've never been told that.” But more like “Shame on you.”
So after the guy leaves, Boris sits on the edge of my desk and waits for me to say something. I'm like, “What? Doesn't he?”
And Boris tells me, “That was rude, Jason, so rude.”
Then he just got up and walked away.
How is that rude? Am I rude? The guy looked like Stephen King, sure, not the best looking guy, but in no way is that intended as insult!